[FG] Fwd: Computer-Jokes - UNIX support and St. Patrick's day (fwd)

[Ing. Roberto Andrade]

Hola:

Que se diviertan.

Roberto

So..... This Irish guy calls up a UNIX consultant with a question:

>Customer:       What is the command that will tell me the revision code
>                of a program ?
>
>UNIX consul:    Yes, that's correct.
>
>Customer:       No, what is it ?
>
>UNIX consul:    Yes.
>
>Customer:       So, which is the one ?
>
>UNIX consul:    No. 'which' is used to find the program.
>
>Customer:       Stop this. Who are you ?
>
>UNIX consul:    Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger 
yoo'
>                to get information about yoo'.
>
>Customer:       All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?
>
>UNIX consul:    Use 'what'.
>
>Customer:       That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true ?
>
>UNIX consul:    No. 'true' gives you 0.
>
>Customer:       Which one ?
>
>UNIX consul:    'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'
>
>Customer:       Let's get back to my problem. What program?
>                How do I find it?
>
>UNIX consul:    Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'.
>                Type 'what program' to get the revision code.
>
>Customer:       I want to find the revision code.
>
>UNIX consul:    You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what 
program'
>
>Customer:       Which command will do what I need?
>
>UNIX consul:    No. 'which command' will find 'command'.
>
>Customer:       I think I understand. Let me write that.
>
>UNIX consul:    You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on
>                your system.
>
>Customer:       Write what?
>
>UNIX consul:    No. 'write that'. 'what program'.
>
>Customer:       Cut that out!
>
>UNIX consul:    Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'.
>                Don't forget the options.
>
>Customer:       Do you always do this ?
>
>UNIX consul:    'du' will give you disk usage.
>
>Customer:       HELP!
>
>UNIX consul:    'help' is only used for Source Code Control System 
(SCCS).
>
>Customer:       You make me angry.
>
>UNIX consul:    No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make 
programname'
>                when I was upset once.
>
>Customer:       I don't want to make trouble, so no more.
>
>UNIX consul:    No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'.
>                Every system has 'more'.
>
>Customer:       Nice help! I'm confused more now!
>
>UNIX consul:    Understand that since 'help' is such a small program,
>                it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not
>                allowed but 'at now' is. Unless, of course, 'now' is
>                a file name.
>
>Customer:       This is almost as confusing as my PC.
>
>UNIX consul:    I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'.
>                Let me get you to the Pascal Compiler team.